What Would You Do?
On my way home from work I stopped at the market. When I left I noticed a
woman with LARGE sign and SMALL child, it read something like: LOST MY JOB, MY HOME.. the rest was a blur.. need food, money? Honestly.. at that point i was lost in my own ignorance of not seeing these things in the suburbs, in my little world. I mouthed “I’m sorry” Sure, like that’s gonna help her! I knew I had no cash (world of debit cards) then thought oh wait.. I just left the grocery store.. nope.. 12bags of sale/gas reward doggie treats won’t work, could have shared my overly priced freshly brewed iced coffee.. hmmm… selfish, greedy me share my coffee.. HELL NO! Yup, yesiree, i just drove on by.. drove by my gas guzzling SUV, that’s me.. the selfish lady/scratch that.. the BITCH driving by you and your kid. Did i feel bad for you? Sure,for a moment, did i help you? Nope, it wasn’t convenient, i had to get back to my home.. oh that’s right.. you lost your home.. Oh yes, that’s me.. the selfish, greedy bitch in the gas guzzling SUV driving by with her seat full of doggie treats (while you can’t afford food for your child) and let’s not forget the always present overpriced freshly brewed iced coffee.. yes, that was me driving by you tonight.
In my mind, I drove by you 20 times, even though it was only once. I drove by you like a bad dream, a wrong turn, no auto-correct on my wrong doing. I am owning this, I am the person who drove by you, you and your small child tonight. Don’t for one minute think I did not care, YOU young lady with your small child and large sign have sparked some changes in my life. So, people reading this … What Would You Do ? or rather what will i do if, and there will be .. next time?

Did I do ‘nothing’?? No, I have “some” heart. I called the local police station, asked them to please look for her, see what she needed, maybe she was scamming they suggested. They did send someone right away and assured me they would get her the right resources if they found her.I agree a scam is a good possibility given the area we live in and no access to public transportation or much affordable housing. It’s a good area to ask ‘clueless’ people like myself to help. BUT..If she took the time and self humiliation then she did need something, someone. The sign read something about needing food, money but regardless of her financial status today she was hurting and desperate enough to bring a small child into this. She needed help, resources, guidance, she needed love and a friend. Maybe she is a scam or maybe her life is at risk for abuse if she doesn’t bring home the money ?? maybe she has a drug addiction and needs intervention ?? maybe she suffers from depression and needs medical help ?? I KNOW for certain if she was standing there with a sign she needed something. Yet, I drove away. I did ask the police department to call me if they found her and let me know what she needed, I wanted my help not to go to drugs or enable any abuse, but to get her the right help. But still, I drove away.
What Would, What Will You Do ?


8 Responses to WWYD

  1. aducille says:

    You’ve made me think, Kim. I agree that she needed “something”. You did what was best for the child, the mother, and yourself. Don’t ever doubt that. It’s always best to let the trained professionals (police in this case) be the first responders. I’m glad your big heart led you in a direction that would provide “help” to the mother & child.

    • kimverrochi says:

      I would have loved to buy her food, help her in a more tangible way, but I keep coming back to the same decision. I hope next time I am more
      emotionally prepared to maybe ‘talk’ with her and see if there is something more helpful I can do. And Thanks soooo much for visiting my blog!
      I am really enjoying Cookin For The Folks AD. Be Well, Keeping you close in my heart xo

  2. Years ago when someone asked me for money for food in a parking lot, I gave them some money. They promptly turned around, went into the nearby store and bought some alcohol. Now, if someone tells me they need money for a meal, I would rather go to a restaurant or fast food place with them and purchase the food for them. That way, at least I know they got something useful out of it.

    It is a difficult time and a difficult circumstance to know exactly what to do. Like many other situations in life, I rely on the ‘Spirit’ to guide me in my actions. I do the same thing with stopping for someone on the road, especially if I am alone. I have stopped for people before, and it has always worked out fine. But I don’t stop if I feel any trepidation about it.

    None of us can afford to give to everyone who asks, is scamming, or panhandling. We all work hard for what we have and don’t particularly like to just throw it away to someone who could work for something but chooses to ‘panhandle’. I know there are people out there who truly need help and we should all do what we can. One way of helping is through our churches or charities who help those in need. In this way, your dollar goes farther as it is multiplied by the contributions of others. In the end, I still come back to letting the Spirit guide my actions. I want to be the Lord’s hands here and I know that he answers others prayers through us. So, I listen to the Spirit and do what I can. I can’t feed everyone, I can’t solve all the world’s problems, but I can help those that he puts in my path. Pray each day to be an instrument and for the Lord to direct you to those who need your help and that you can help.

    Truly, there is no easy answer to your question.

    • kimverrochi says:

      I particularly like a comment my cousin Kris made on my facebook page about the bible and ‘teaching a man to fish’ feeding him for his lifetime. I wanted to help, felt so confused by my ‘instincts’ to drive away. I appreciate your encouraging words and more times than not, I try to be guided as well, but some days I wonder if I’m listening so well. As always, I look forward to your feedback Regina.

  3. WiccanMommy says:

    I think you know my personality enough to know who I am and what I’d do! Or at least what I’d do if hubby wasn’t in the picture! However, I have yet to see anyone with a child. I imagine though, there would be no stopping me from helping that woman and her child! I may be completely broke and don’t even have enough to pay bills when they’re do, but, I do have a warm house, a couch, blankets, a shower and have connections to help get them clothing, shoes, etc. I’d also go to the 3 places in town where you can get food hampers.
    My gut instincts are pretty dead on. I know some of the people just want money for drugs/alcohol, but some of them genuinely need help. I know people think there’s no way in hell they’d let a homeless person into their homes…but had the tables been turned and it were you with your child, wouldn’t you hope someone would take a chance on you?
    I don’t care what I have and what I don’t have. If I have a roof over my head and the heart to notice they’re in need, than I definitely have something to offer…even if it’s just a friend to talk to. As a pre-teen, my grandma and I had to eat at the soup kitchen, so I can personally understand what it feels like to be given a chance!

    • kimverrochi says:

      How did I know you would feel that way. I thought of our ‘chats’ and how you would be disappointed in how i handled it.
      I am disappointed in myself too. While I think age makes me more skeptical, cynical I would like to think I am a nice person,
      but that night made me think again. Next time I vow to be more emotionally prepared on how to handle something like this.
      While I don’t think I would bring them home, I will stay with the person, talk to them, call the police to
      come pick them up and bring them to an appropriate safe place that can get them the long term help they may need… a meal, a
      bed, a chance to have the support systems in their life.. all resources I do not have, but can help them find. I hope I get the
      chance to do better next time.

  4. sryanmliw says:

    This is honest and powerful. You cannot personally always help. I don’t know that these “needs” are always simple and straight-forward. There have been times when I have given knowing that a less desirable choice would be made with what I gave, but hoping that my kind and affirming words would take root and nourish where a few dollars could not. Often there are levels of mental illness, addiction, you name it. Doesn’t matter. I drive by some times too. Call in instinct. However, I sought out the local resources near me that support these people and I support them regularly as well as am prepared to share contact info. I think the power for a lasting an effective change can be accomplished there.

    • You are so right. I spoke openly with the police department locally and they promised me they would bring this woman and child to the right help and let me know if they needed anything. I saw them a week or so later at another market.. although It looked and felt like a scam I also had concerns the woman was being abused and coerced some way into doing this with her small child. I was so taken aback with the whole situation I just had to write about it.. it was emotional and I felt so moved to share and hope it would stir others to think too about what they would do.. the hardest part for me was feeling unprepared, not able to do the right thing right away and in my own neighborhood.. So good to hear your words. I hope I can get back to writing again soon, share more.

let your voice be heard

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s